


A Ruff Translation

by literarypeachtea



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Alternate Scene, Canon Divergence, Drabble, Episode: s01e19 Acquisition, Gen, YouTube, less than 500 words actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:22:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24639883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literarypeachtea/pseuds/literarypeachtea
Summary: Just a short drabble about what would happen if the Ferengi translator actuallydidwork to translate Porthos' barks in the episode "Acquisition."
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	A Ruff Translation

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, I don't own anything referenced in here — neither the Star Trek characters nor the delightful YouTube video that is [ Dog of Wisdom](https://youtu.be/D-UmfqFjpl0).

“Where is the vault? Do you understand me?” The Ferengi marauder, Grish, was attempting to interrogate the quadruped that was standing on the captain’s bed, wagging its tail and barking occasionally.

Tapping at the translator, he turned to his companion, Muk, who was waiting impatiently.

"I can't lock onto its language," Grish explained sheepishly.

"It's a lower life-form, you fool! Probably the captain's next meal.”

Sometimes Muk couldn’t believe how stupid his crew mate was.

"Don’t be so sure. Look at the size of its ears!”

The translator lit up as the being barked again, seeming to get a lock.

“I am the Dog of Wisdom. I dispense wisdom from my wisdom tooth,” it said.

Grish turned to the other Ferengi. “I told you,” he crowed triumphantly. The other rolled his eyes.

“Well, what is your wisdom?” Muk asked the Dog of Wisdom sarcastically.

The dog paused, sniffing around before sitting down.

“If your ball is too big for your mouth,” it began, staring at the pair with large brown eyes, “then it is not yours.”

Then it lifted its leg and began licking itself.

Grish blinked. “That is a good wisdom,” he remarked solemnly.

“You idiot, that translator is more broken than I thought!”

**Author's Note:**

> Credit goes to my partner for this idea. At this point, perhaps I should resign myself to solely writing fic about Porthos' adventures on the Enterprise lol. Tbh it's more fun than what I write about for work.


End file.
